Chicago Bears QB Jay Cutler and MTV’s Kristin Cavallari: Hitch Route

May 20, 2011   ·   Chicago Sports Noise   ·   Jump to comments

In the day and age, when people are either staying up or waking up to catch some live nuptials in HD, it is only fitting that the Bears' high-profile QB is walking the plank that leads only to disgruntled monogamy. After being the fall guy for the Bears playoff loss in 2010, he can now rest assured that he is the rebound guy in the post-Justin Bobby era, therefore acquiring his "sloppy seconds" (anyone who uses this phrase officially sucks, including me).

To be honest, I wish there were a live telecast of the heartfelt vows between Jay and Kristin. I mean, if Jay can't get amped on the sidelines rooting for his team to take the NFC title, how do you think he'll react in uttering "in sickness and in health." My prediction: comatose stoicism in its purest form.

Think about the bride's side of the guest list at this ceremony—Audrina, LO, Stephen Colletti and the all-too infamous Stacey The Bartender (her title has become a proper noun, hence the capitalization). If I'...

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