Jon Stewart’s Message for Tom Brady: ‘You Cheating F–k’

May 8, 2015   ·   Dan Carson   ·   Jump to comments

In Revelation, the Bible lists a number of specific and horrible happenings that will afflict the world when the end times draw nigh.
Among them are clouds of locusts, the Earth's rivers turning to blood and a 72-hour pan-network marathon of Castle. Nowhere, however, does it mention that Deflategate takes would consume the cities of man and drive us screaming into the streets like wounded boar.
But here it is, the takequake to end all takequakes, and Jon Stewart dutifully jumped in to deliver his opinion on Tom Brady's involvement in the New England Patriots' ball deflation scandal on Thursday night's The Daily Show.
Stewart's basic message to Brady and the Patriots in general: Why? Why do you do this? You're beautiful. You don't need to do this.
Tommy...you cheating f--k. Why? You've got four Super Bowl rings. You're married to the biggest supermodel in the world. Your face—your beautiful face—is a wonder of symmetry, a Platonic ideal of ...

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