Albert Haynesworth Eats Daniel Snyder: Redskin Fans Riot (Satire)

June 24, 2010   ·   Dan Boone   ·   Jump to comments

Shocking reports are emerging from Washington Redskins headquarters, where it appears that embittered defensive tackle Albert Haynesworth has eaten Redskins owner Daniel Snyder and choked to death in the process.
In a bizarre turn of events, in an already strange tale, a large crowd of joyous Redskin fans were seen tailgating and celebrating outside the Redskins facilities as the word of the reported Redskin double fatality spread.
Former Redskin stars Sonny Jurgensen and John Riggins were even spotted leading fans in a riotous version of "Hail To The Redskins!"
Redskins' head coach Mike Shanahan, who was at the improvised owner buffet, was still in a state of shock as he talked to reporters.
"Look we never anticipated this happening. I feel terrible. I mentioned moving Albert to free safety and said, just in jest, that I used to have a super sized safety named Steve Atwater, and that Atwater was the size of Albert's ass. Well Albert looked at me and just gro...

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