Attention NFL Owners, Players and Fans: Read This Letter During the Lockout

March 12, 2011   ·   John Zaktansky   ·   Jump to comments

Dear NFL owners,
What a bunch of cry baby NFL fans we have, huh? They keep whining about furloughs and pay cuts and increasing expenses and other poor people junk.
Like any of that really matters, right? Come this fall, they’ll still shell out plenty of money for tickets and jerseys and stadium bratwursts.
They’ll put a styrofoam wedge of cheese on their heads, grab a few Terrible Towels and yell like crazy while spilling a bowl of Doritos on their LazyBoy.
They’ll leave their wives and children behind as they sneak out of church early and head to the sports bars with the high-definition big screens and two-dollar pitchers.
The problem with these ungrateful fans is that they just don’t understand. They don’t know their roles—that you guys are the ones who wave the dog biscuit and they’re the ones jumping through hoops, rolling over and begging for more.
And they just don’t understand your situation. How could...

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